


This Love We Had

by Ritzy_bird



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Lost Love, M/M, Magic, Numinous, Reminiscing, Witches, ambiguous details
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23748880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ritzy_bird/pseuds/Ritzy_bird
Summary: Marco's just a healer witch who misses his sweetheart.
Relationships: Marco Bott & Jean Kirstein, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	This Love We Had

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caravean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/caravean/gifts).



> I DID IT I WROTE CONTENT!  
> It is not ANY OF THE CONTENT I PROMISED YOU!  
> It's unedited because I didn't know when Chellyla would go to bed. This is 100% based on her #numinous AU on tumblr PLEASE GO CONSUME THE CONTENT!

It's been years now. The sun still rises the same way it always has, with the sky pink in the morning and orange at dusk. Rain falls the same way it always has; Hardest in the summer, but most often during spring. And on the rare occasion, when it rains especially long and hard, he reminds himself that not everyone he used to know is really gone. Plants in the garden never appreciate that of course.

  
Even though his customers might change over time, asking for different things, or seeking other remedies, it's all relatively the same thing, just a different day. Everything except Marco's feelings, that is.

At first he was distraught, with nights going by sleepless and sore-eyed as he stared out his back window into the dark, stillness of the woods. 

Then there were days where he would curse the forest and everything in it, stubbornly procrastinating his usual foraging in favor for purchasing lesser quality, highly priced reagents and baby sprouts from traveling traders of which used to _despise_ the cheap and effective services Marco provided the townspeople.

For a while even after that, had been a long period of quiet acceptance. The forest was the same, would always be the same, and as far as the ignorant townspeople knew? Was the same as it had always been. How bitter and spiteful he could be on bad days, scolding some of the villagers if he overheard their rotten, or overly-whimsical tall tales about the forbidden nature of the forest. If only they knew. If only he didn't.

Now, back to now. Things were... calm. Things were, as far as any stranger could tell, 'back to business as usual'. Marco did however, provide a different kind of service than what once was his 'usual'. 

His plants were much better now, sturdier, healthier, more... _alive_. There were some new, and some he'd once abandoned out of ignorance before he'd been taught better. He could help people differently now, offer them more options, give them new advice.

Fellow traders, amateur healers, and pastime botanists alike would all occasionally ask him how he got his magics to work so well over the years. Politely, and with a smile every time no matter how it made his heart twinge with varying emotions, he always shrugged in response.

_"Really, I have no idea! Just practice, just a natural talent, I guess."_

That was the lie he always told them, and he knew, he _knew_ it was selfish. It was wrong, even, to keep the secrets of the forest to himself this way. But he had to, **needed to** maybe so that he could.... 

It didn't matter; Marco had sacrificed _enough_ in the name of doing 'the right thing'. There were worse things in the forest that he could easily tell the townspeople of, and they would rightly believe him, their trusted healer who was the only one who could ever walk into those deep dark woods without any fear. By not warning them, and by keeping all the knowledge good or bad to himself, he _was_ doing the right thing.

So what if it was all just to keep a piece of Jean all to himself? Who ever _really_ cared about the nature of plants and what they truly had to offer? Could anyone even begin to understand Marco's broken, healing heart?

Maybe.

Maybe if he opened up to someone, maybe if he let a singular person know the truth. Told a tall fantastical romance to one of the curious children dragged along on their parents' errands that required Marco's services. Or offered a classical chilling nightmare at the tavern to weary newcomers, too tired to sense how much of his words were real or fantasy. Even just one small memory of even a single thing he'd learned only through lingering in the forest just one afternoon _too_ long....

Maybe a lot of things, if Marco had just been a little more selfish. Selfish, like Jean. Jean who chose the forest, and all of its inhabitants, all of its plants and its animals and its magic... over Marco. 

At least that's what Marco told himself in the beginning days, as he wallowed in all of his regret as the reality of what he'd done weighed on him. Now those kinds of thoughts came and went like a spring breeze. 

Reminding himself that he had no choice, that the alternative would never be worth it. Not for him, not for Jean, not for anyone. Sometimes that fact made it _worse_ , but these days, he let it ease the pain.

As Marco tended to his outdoor garden, pruning leaves and gently peeling the more hungry of the plant eating pests off his more delicate specimen, he let his mind wander. Dirt caked to his hands and underneath his fingernails, since he'd stopped wearing gloves on Jean's recommendation. The strange sensation stopped bothering him a long time ago.

There were a million tales of humans angry at gods, of humans foolish enough to fall in love with them, and gods who cursed humans with promises of death or pain. Marco laughed as he realized he was all of these cliches, and more. So much more. 

As many times as he thought of, even dreamed of Jean, he knew that no matter how strongly they felt about each other, Jean wasn't doing the same. Incapable of it, really, which was oh so bittersweet. Marco wished he had the luxury of forgetting, to sleep at night and not imagine a better time....

Rustling in the leaves not far off behind him caused Marco to turn slowly, a small hope in his heart thinking that maybe... it was him. But his heart quieted again as Marco spotted a young doe nibbling on some of his wild roses. 

Marco only smiled, and decided to let the innocent, ignorant creature go back to her snacking. The smile quickly grew, and it became a laugh too loud for any wild creature to tolerate. He glanced back, expecting the deer to be gone.

Yet, she stayed, continually munching on a near-useless flower Marco only had growing for when young people came along hoping he'd make them some kind of 'love potion'. His smile faded, and realization came to Marco hard and fast. His backyard was still part of the forest. 

The doe had no idea that, while she remained safe within the magic she may not have realized was all around her, that this was no place for her. It was just too close to everything that Marco was, and Jean was not. Did she not realize that it was _Marco's_ presence here that was just as unnatural as hers?

Marco appreciated the animal's misgivings about him belonging there, but knew best to teach her this one harsh lesson about life. He picked up a nearby stone, measured its weight in his hand, and gave it a long, good throw towards his rose bush. 

Within an instant of the rock crashing through the branches, the doe took off, fast and free as she'd hopefully be for the rest of her days. Marco shook his head with a sigh, also now realizing just how much damage she'd done to the buds. The majority of them were gone now, and it would be some time before they came back.

Turning back to his main garden, Marco relaxed again. He hoped she enjoyed her treat, but that she wouldn't return for more. Yes, the roses _would_ grow back. They always did. Every plant that withered with the cold, trampled by an animal, or cruelly plucked by a human would always, inevitably come back. 

Marco, with all his great knowledge of the forest would never understand, just how selfish Jean truly was. For choosing sleep, for sacrificing the time, for pushing Marco away. For letting Marco _live_.

But everything in nature, always, _it always_ _comes back._

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY ENDING!  
> Also this song was my inspiration HI it's not a Lemon Demon song, woah. [youtube.com/watch?v=bIQO-a4xIds]


End file.
